Career opportunities.

So, I've come full circle. Last we spoke I was bemoaning the fact I was unemployed. Shortly after writing that blog I went on the dole for a period of about 3 weeks, before I found work as a fundraiser for a charity (During my brief stint as a dole mole I received the princely sum of £33.10).

Well great! I'd found a job that paid well and did well, what's not to like? Well, as it turns out, quite a bit. I was paid by an employment agency, but worked for the charity, which meant any confusion over wages was simply batted between the companies- 'go ask the charity' 'oh go ask your agency'.

The charity, as a charity, is fantastic, I support what its trying to do, and what it stands for. However, the way it made me feel and behave as I went about raising funds for them was terrible. It was, essentially a sales job, but instead of selling a product, I was selling the moral high ground. Going door to door is surreal, you see into a lot of lives and a lot of houses. The salient points I got from the 6 weeks or so I worked there is this:

people with no money, while the most eager to give, cannot afford to give it- it was heartbreaking to see people with so little trying to push coins or notes into my hand (something I couldn't accept both by law and principle)

People with some money fell into two categories- they were either eager to share, and some of the most warm hearted people I've ever met (I still have a stubby beer given to me by the second person I ever signed up, I keep it to remind me people aren't pricks), or, they completely hate the fact that inequality means someone is disturbing them while they're trying to watch TV.

People with loads of money, almost to a fault, were either dismissive, angry, or I couldn't get past their huge metal gates to ring their doorbell.

So the job reaffirmed a few things I already suspected, people with less are more eager to share it. But while my job often seemed to 'target' people with less, ('There's some good council estates here' was a phrase often heard) if I were to ever help people with less, directly, by giving out the charities number, for example, it was seen as a waste of time- 'you've given out more numbers than you've collected'.

In short, the main aim of working for the charity, was to sign people up to donate. Fair enough. But if you don't sign up enough people in the amount of time given, on your bike- during my stint there, 5 people 'had their assignment ended'- e.g. they were sacked. I myself had something of an epiphany on a bus to work on Monday morning- I'm doing a job I don't enjoy. Is it worth it?. To which I decided it wasn't, got off the bus, walked home n quit.

Working for a charity in such an aggressive, sales capacity was not good for me. I often caught myself becoming judgemental towards people who didn't donate. Who the fuck am I to judge anyone? I don't donate to charities every month, I give cash as and when I choose. But if someone says that to me or my colleagues on a door suddenly they're tight bastards?

The hypocrisy I was exposed to, and part of, was overwhelming. For example, many of my colleagues had other experience, working for other charities- one said 'I miss working for *cancer charity*, you pretty much just had to talk about kids with cancer and they gave you money, it was easy, I made a fortune in bonuses.'- Surely, that is not a remark from someone who is driven by charity, that is a remark made by someone driven purely by money. And a lot of people are. And that really pisses me off.

I think the overlap between business and charity is scary, and the mentality it inspires strange, as though the very idea of charity becomes a commodity, a way for people to write off real taxes and mental guilt. Because we live in a very unfair world, you don't need me to tell you that. But when someone knocks on your door and tells you its unfair, then offers you a chance to make it less unfair in exchange for money, something isn't right.

What I'm really getting at here is, question everything. If someone is homeless, it's great to help them, never stop helping people. But as soon as you ask 'why is that person homeless?' suddenly you're opening a can of worms. Philanthropy is fine, but never question what creates such inequality in the first place? Fuck that.It boils down to having a personal philosophy. Mine is that people should all have the basic things they need to survive and thrive. That's easy to dismiss as 'starry eyed dreaming' but why settle for less? As a species we're a pretty incredible bunch, and we shouldn't write it off as 'That's just the way it is' (No matter what the great 2pac says).

If you want to feel better about something, do something!

And that, ladies n gents, is why I quit working for a charity. Weird eh?

Here's the soundtrack to my jobsearching:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZOrkPIZ1JU

Oh and I really, really will write about something film related next time.